READY FOR A BABY?!

So one of the initial questions I received several times when I first posted about being pregnant was how did we know we were ready to start a family?! Because I felt like this question was a little more involved than some of the others I got, I decided to save it for a dedicated post.

We have been asked basically since the day we got married when we were going to have kids. Which when you have been married for five years AND work in a salon where you see new people all day long is A LOT. 😛 When I would answer, people would always say well you’ll never be ready or there’s never a right time. And I’m going to say that I’m pretty sure I disagree with that statement. I totally get that nothing can fully prepare you for being a parent, but looking back on our life and what it’s been and how we’ve grown as a couple, I can’t think of a more perfect time that right now to start our little family. And if people thought that we could have already had kids during the different things we’ve been through in our marriage, like the military, fire academies, living apart or paramedic school, I’ll let them go ahead and do their lives that way. #imdoingme 😛

So what was our answer to that never ending question? There were the simple things like wanting to grow together just as a couple and have adventures just us. We didn’t live (or sleep :P) together until we got married so I feel like there was just so much life to live and explore together after getting married. I know we will look back on these five years and all the amazing things we got to do forever and be thankful for the time we had to make those memories. We got to relish in the fact that every night felt like a sleepover. We got to travel all over the place. We got to let each other pursue our dreams and passions. We got to grow in our faith and learn more about who Jesus was through each other.

And then there’s the more complex answer that has to do with a lot of logistics and timing. When we got married, Ben was in the middle of pursuing his dream of becoming a firefighter. I had already been a hairstylist for eight years so I was just continuing to build my business and loving every minute of it. At first we (mostly I :P) had said we would wait two years and then start trying for a baby. But as that time approached, we realized we just weren’t actually ready yet. It was really important to both of us that Ben was settled in a career that he absolutely loved before we had kids. I know we totally could have made anything work, but we really wanted that to be our reality. Once when we were at church, the pastor asked for people to raise their hands if they loved their job. Ben and I were probably two of ten or so people in a room of 300 who raised their hands. That’s always been something that we wanted, to absolutely love what we do.   If you’ve ever been around anyone pursuing a career in the fire service, you may know that it takes a lot of time and sacrifice. And in our situation, we were willing to wait for that dream to be a reality until we had kids. I never wanted Ben to have to give up his dream of being a firefighter to have to get a job he didn’t love to provide better in that moment because we were having a baby. And he never wanted us to be in the position that I would have to work in order for us to be financially stable. So we decided to wait until he got hired, finished probation and finished paramedic school. I know that’s a lot of stuff to have on our list before we had kids, but ultimately that’s what we felt like would be best for us. Looking back I wouldn’t have it any other way. When Ben got hired, he temporarily moved out of our apartment to live with some guys in order to be closer to where he was in fire academy training and be successful in the academy. Then after that was a year of probation which was a very stressful season for Ben. Once he finished that, we couldn’t wait for a little breather and to finally get to enjoy some of the freedom that comes with a firefighter schedule. That year we went to Cabo, Belize, Hawaii, Colorado, Italy and Hawaii again. We made the best memories ever that I wouldn’t trade for anything. And that brought us to right now where Ben is in the thick of paramedic school. And let me tell you, knowing how all of those different seasons were, I’m so thankful that we chose now to start a family. I know we could have done anything, and God would have given us grace for those seasons if we did have kids, but I just love exactly how it happened. Ben will be finished with paramedic school a grand total of one month when Baby B arrives. Guess you could say we were getting a little anxious there at the end. 😛

So my answer to how do you know if you’re ready for kids isn’t ehhh whenever, there’s never a right time. My answer is do what is best for you and your partner. Don’t worry about what people say or think! I’ve had people tell me all the things, including bringing up my age. #rude. But as much as it’s easy to let people’s opinions make you want to change your plans, don’t. Pray about it with your spouse, and figure out what is best for you and your soon to be little family.

xoxo,

Christine